Uuuuuuuuugh. This sucks.

I hate bad memories. They boil up in your gut, and rise up to the back of your throat and mind like a black bile and just sit there, rotting, giving you a bad taste is your mouth and leave a foul stench to the air and everything around you.

I mean, I feel like just the *act* of remembering is draining my energy! Even though I'm not conciously thinking about it anymore, it sucked the life and happy clean out of me. Like sucking the meat out of a lobster claw. Shhhhhhhhhhhhlllup! All gone.

I suppose I should explain; my dad brought up my ex. *headsdesk*

WHY.

WHY WHY WHY WHY *WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY* DAD! SERIOUSLY. WHO LIKES THINKING ABOUT THAT.

It wasn't even like bringing up a good past memory either. He had to re-mention all the things I hated. So I re-experienced every emotion.

You know, I was actually having a good day today. A really fucking awesome, amazing, phenomenol day. And it gets blackened at the very end. GOD, isn't that JUST my life. It's always like that. Things really couldn't get much better, so WHOOP! They take nosedives. It's like my karma doesn't want me to be happy for too long; that's completely unacceptable. Sure, you can have like, a DAY where nothing goes wrong, but rest assured: our people will correct this, and they'll do it very swiftly and efficently.

I just hate life and everything right now. I hate all my past and current artwork, I hate that I've got a writers block the size of one of the blocks they used to build the pyramids with, I hate that I can't force myself to stay in a relationship for more than a week because i'm too scared that something similar to last bf will happen again, and I hate that i'm so weak and whiney. But hell, why stop now? Not talking doesn't stop me from being weak; I already am. I don't even have enough energy to cry right now, even though I have the feeling I should be doing so.

I'm re-starting dance classes tomorrow. And I'm auditioning for canton's community theatre production of Singin in the Rain. I WAS excited for this. I don't *currently* care, but it's actually kind of a really big deal. I LOVE that musical, and wanna do everything I can to prepare for it.

I also got to ride an ATV for the first time today. And learned how to do a front flip on a trampoline. Those were the awesome parts of my day.

...but if the lights go off...you're dinner."

I *FINALLY* got around to seeing it!

Me and my friend Geoff, who I don't BELIVE has a DeviantArt,(I could be wrong ), after like, a full week, actually went out to the Plymouth library, and sat down for roughly 6 hours straight watching the full series called Jekyll, by BBC.

For anyone else out there who has seen it, does Steven Moffat have ANY sort of flimsy excuse for not continuing this series!?!? ITS JUST LIKE FIREFLY ALL FLIPPIN' OVER AGAIN AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

All I know is, I'm in love. IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE. I mean, seriously? I'm gonna feel like a complete nincompoop for goin' around whistling that little tune from the ice cream truck Hyde does all the time. And singing The Lion Sleeps Tonight everywhere. WRRRRRRRRRY, STEVEN MOFFAT, WRRRRRY!?!? WRY ARE YOU GOD!?!?

God, there's too many good lines to count, and far too many to quote. Lets just say, if anyone's curious, it's art, that series. ARTZ.

*sigh* God, I need to go fangirl somewhere else now....

I just re-installed my tablet.

HOOORAAAYY LONG PERIODS OF ART ABSENCE!!!!

But not really hooray. GLAD it's over.

So ya, my main source providing art income is restored! So THAT means, while I'm getting re-accustomed to my long lost bebeh, you will probably be flooded with absolutely GARBAGE stuff until I get a hang of it again.

ALSO! My scanner works again too! IT LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES~! So you will see some of the random stuff I've done this past year WITHOUT my tablet. (ps, I PROMISE I've got a lot better since my LAST deviation...)

First order of buisness!

Didn't make Madrigals. W/e. I'm over it now.

BUT! Dulcissima got switched to 3rd hour, so I can still be in choir next year! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYZ!!!

Also, me and my friend made Sea-Salt Ice-Cream. In real life. Yes, it is the same kind from Kingdom Hearts I and II. And it's hella good, from what I heard. I get to try it tomorrow.

ALSO: BE FOREWARNED!!!

My Jekyll and Hyde obsession has begun to rear it's head again. What is this damned world coming to when a girl can't keep a hold of her strange obsessions anymore?!? :evil:

Right.

I'm scared SHITless.

It's just so unbelievably mean of them. My choir directors, I mean. So FIRST, they said that they were gonna post the results for the choirs for next year the very last day of school. I accepted this, and moved on with my life.

Guess what curve-ball they decided to bean at my turned back?

We find out what choir we made it into after school THIS FRIDAY.

Like, whoa, HELLO!? WHAAAAAAAAT?!!? Since when was that ok?! First of, if you're already DONE, why make us wait till Friday?! I mean, ok, I KNOW auditions are already over and done with, and what's decided is already decided, and worrying about it won't change the outcome, blah blah blah...but REALLY, Mrs. Kopp? You're KILLING me!!! I'd rather have it be a surprise, or have the dignity of summer to cry into rather than having to deal with tons of classmates onslaught of either congradulations or that's too bad. I don't want EITHER. I just want to KNOW!!!

I actually bit my pen today in class, too, after hearing this news.

That's ridonkulous. I haven't bitten my pens or pencils since fifth grade. God, this end of the school year stress is really starting to get to me...

But HEY! On the UP side, only two more Mondays, and two more weeks of hell left! HOORAY FOR THE FINAL STRETCH!!!

Also, side note, once it's summer for me, be on the look-out for plenty of arts from me. Possibly photoshop arts. HOPEFULLY BETTER photoshop arts. And tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons of pictures. And maybe a few scraps. POINT BEING, I shall be officially returning to the DeviantArt world shortly!