As most of you know, I'm in the long process of writing my own story. I've now actually progessed past the, "lets try to plan things out" stage most writers inevitably go through to the, "Hell, let them tell me the story themselves" approach. Unfortunately, they're not doing it in order. I wrote 3/4 of what I want to be the first chapter, but theres a part at the end that I just don't know how to bring in earlier that NEEDS to be introduced. I just...can't figure out how to do it yet. And stupid Votch and Andrew aren't helping. They're just laughing at me struggle. STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!!! *cries*

Thing is, if I want to be able to write any farther, i don't really think I can do it till this stupid hill is sufficently surmounted. I'm going to be posting up what little I have with a link to this journal to explain the dilemma and my request, so listen up!

The only reason I'm posting this work in progress is because I need suggestions in how I can bring the aformentioned segment in earlier to make it flow more smoothly. I also am requesting that you be brutal, and REALY let me have it. ANY grammar things, ANY parts where you don't understand whats going on, ANTYHING: Please make a comment so I can make it easier for us all. Being nice isn't going to fix anything, CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM is what I need.

Thanks very much!

Pooh Bear